I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
