Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
