I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
