he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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