woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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