shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
