Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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