Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
