i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
