someone threw a dead crab at me
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
