His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
