planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
