Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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