The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
