so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
