you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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