i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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