Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
