Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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