Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
