I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
