with your own penis?
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
