We're like a lot better than the average bears
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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