So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
