I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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