Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
