She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
