am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
