what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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