college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
