sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
