that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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