Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
