How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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