Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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