I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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