Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
