I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
