Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
