Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
