What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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