i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I need a burrito and a hug.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
