i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
