So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
