hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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