I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
