Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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