sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
