East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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