yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
